Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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