Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So vagazzling was a success
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
