do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
