He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
