what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
