i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
