Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
