where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
