I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
