Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
