She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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