your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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