If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
