Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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