im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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