So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
