PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
