An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My life is pants optional.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
