Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is the high leading the old right now
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
