Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
