im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
