I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
