is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
