no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
