shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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