I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We don't watch enough power rangers
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
