Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
