I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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