I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
two words: eviction party
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
