Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
