there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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