'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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