dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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