I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
