Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
