Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
