Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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