I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
