Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
