I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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