There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize