belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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