i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize