your parents love me but you hate me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
