It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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