Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
