You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
