I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
