I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
