Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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