Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize