Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
