Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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