Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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