I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
