I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
