I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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