I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
