I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
