remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
