are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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