I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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