I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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