You're completely useless in the revolution.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
