and you said cock pushups were impossible
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
